Bullying Intervention Jennifer, 11 years old

Jennifer is a mostly quiet child in the sixth grade. Last year, she was a well-liked and popular student with both peers and teachers, but this year a lot has changed. Part of the reason is that several of her friends ‘grew up’ over the summer. They have a sudden interest in boys and clothes and being popular. Those girls, led by Danielle, have formed an exclusive little clique – and Jennifer is part of it.

Jennifer likes being part of the clique – it means she always has someone to have lunch with, and is never left out of games on the playground. It also means that she is seen as being one of the ‘coolest kids in the school’. There are a few things that she’s not very comfortable with, though.

Danielle, who was her best friend last year, seems to like making other girls feel bad. She picks and chooses who gets to be part of the clique, and sometimes the things she says about girls that she doesn’t like are pretty hurtful. Usually, she just sits there when Danielle starts picking on someone, but lately that’s been feeling very wrong to her.

Still, she’s afraid that if she tells Danielle to stop it that Danielle will pick her out as the next target to make fun of – and then she’ll be eating lunch all by herself, and lose her place as a ‘cool kid’.

One afternoon at recess, Danielle starts picking on Kitty, a girl that Jennifer has tried to help with homework and other problems in the past. A circle of girls gathers around Kitty, and led by Danielle start taunting her and making fun of her clothing and hair. Even though Jennifer feels like she’s going to throw up, she doesn’t say anything at all. When Kitty runs to a corner to cry, Jennifer walks off with the rest of the bullies, still uncomfortable.

During her study period, she remembers the signs and posters about bullying that are in the school guidance counselor’s office. Miss Reilly is someone that Jennifer likes a lot and respects. It seems that she always has time to listen to the kids – and unlike a lot of the other teachers, she really listens. Jennifer asks permission to go to the guidance office, and once there, she finds the whole story spilling out as if a dam had burst inside her.

Intervention

Miss Reilly listens, and asks a few questions about exactly what happened that afternoon, and how Jennifer felt about it. She takes the time to praise Jennifer for being kind and strong enough to not join in teasing Kitty, and for bringing the situation to an adult. She assures Jennifer that she will not tell anyone where she heard about what happened, and that she will make sure that Kitty doesn’t get picked on again.

Then she takes another step – she asks Jennifer if she would like some ideas on how to act when Danielle picks on someone else. Jennifer is relieved and grateful for the help, and she and Miss Reilly brainstorm ways to show disapproval for bullying without becoming a new target.

Because Miss Reilly has attended a bullying intervention workshop, she understands that in order to be effective, an intervention must include bullies, victims, bystanders and other adults. As soon as Jennifer leaves her office, she finds Kitty’s and Danielle’s homeroom teachers and lets them know what happened on the playground so that they are aware and can keep an eye out for further problems.

In speaking with both teachers, she finds that they’ve each had concerns about a pattern of behavior they’d seen developing. Miss Reilly talks with each of the girls privately, without giving them a chance to talk with each other in between. She learns that Jennifer was not the only one who felt uncomfortable – and makes sure that each of them know that there were other girls who didn’t like what happened either.

Resolution

In the end, the parents of each of the girls who took an active part in the name-calling were notified, and each girl was given a three-day suspension from recess. The parents of the girls who stood by were also called, and told about the incident and the fact that their daughters had NOT joined in the name calling. Kitty’s parents were called as well to alert them to the situation. All of the girls were required to attend a presentation by a local girls’ club that emphasized girls building self esteem.

Jennifer, encouraged by Miss Reilly and the fact that she was not the only girl who was upset by Danielle’s behavior, approached other girls to talk about what they should do if Danielle started picking on someone. The next time Danielle says something cruel to another girl, Jennifer says, “Aw, leave her alone, Danielle. It’s not funny.” One of the other girls adds, “Only losers put other people down.

Come on, let’s go play dodge-ball,” and pointedly includes the bullied girl in the invitation. Danielle is left with the choice of following along or being left out. The girls have learned not to let a bully rule them and become defenders instead of silent victims.