Bullying Intervention - John, 14

At 14, John is – and prides himself on being – a unique individual. He is an artist who draws well, and is beginning to work with wood and clay in sculpture. He is witty, intelligent, sarcastic and irreverent. He enjoys thrash music and dresses in Goth fashion. Tall, thin and pale, he occasionally dresses in ‘costume’ of skirts, fishnet stockings and combat boots.

In the small school where he is a student, the teachers support a culture of respect for individuality, and John has grown up respected and valued for his contributions to the classroom, as has every other student in the school. He is accepted for who he is, both at school and at home.

When John’s family moves to the other side of the city, he has to transfer from his small school to the much larger regional school. There, the atmosphere is far different. Most of the students listen to rap and hip-hop music, and dress in urban style. John’s Goth appearance stands out like a sore thumb, and almost immediately, there are undercurrents of bullying.

Though no one says much out loud, John finds people bumping into him in the hallways, knocking his books off the desk as they pass, or moving a chair away from their table as he approaches at lunch. Without his friends and the adults who have known him all his life around him, John is beginning to feel isolated and alone.

Intervention

At home, John’s mother notices that he is growing more withdrawn and often is short-tempered. When he starts refusing to get up in the morning to go to school, she suspects that his differences are making him the target of bullies. Since they’ve always had an open relationship, she asks him directly what’s going on at school.

John shrugs it off as ‘kids being jerks’, but John’s mother doesn’t. The next morning, she calls the school and asks to speak with the guidance office. She explains her concerns to Mr. Johnson, John’s guidance counselor.

He says that he hasn’t seen any sign of it, but he’ll keep his eyes open. John’s mother is only slightly reassured, and presses the issue, asking Mr. Johnson if there are resources in place in the school that can help John if he feels he is being bullied. After a few moments, Mr. Johnson opens up and begins to talk about various classes and after school activities where John might find a ‘center’ of friends and support. In the meantime, he makes a point of meeting with John on the pretext of discussing his grades and plans.

During the meeting, he speaks about the high praise he’s read about John’s work as an artist and wonders if he might be interested in joining a program that apprentices students to working crafters.

Resolution

As the adults in John’s life close in to help him rebuild the support system he’d had at his old school, John feels less alone and more supported. He decides to join the crafters’ apprentice program, where he meets several other students – some from his school and some from other schools – who share his tastes and interests.

One afternoon as he is heading for the school bus, he is surrounded by three other young men. One steps into his personal space and states, menacingly, “Boys in this school don’t wear skirts.” John replies, “I’m a boy. I go to this school. I wear a skirt… someone lied to you, man.” As the three would-be bullies stood there, surprised at his response, he stepped around them and headed down the hall, calling out to someone ahead of him in the hallway.

It was the first and only overt bullying attempt on him, and once he’d made it clear that he couldn’t be menaced, even the more covert bullying stopped.