Creating A Non-Bullying Environment

Before we can expect those who are bullied to stand up for themselves, we need to build an environment where it is safe for them to do so. That involves raising awareness of bullying and its effects, and making it clear that under no circumstances will it be tolerated. It includes making it safe for bystanders to report bullying when they see it, and following up on the reports. It means encouraging and rewarding those who do not bully as well as those who step in to intervene and stop the bullying behaviors that they see. Finally, it involves giving bystanders and victims alike specific and concrete tools that they can use to intervene and stop bullying in its tracks.

Creating A Non-Bullying Environment

Bullying can not survive in an environment that doesn’t support it. No matter what reason children (or adults) give for bullying, when there is no reward for bullying and when other more appropriate behaviors ARE rewarded, the bullying will decrease dramatically. ‘Create a supportive environment where everyone is respected and encouraged to achieve’ sounds wonderful as a goal on a plan to stop bullying – but what does it mean, exactly? Here are ten concrete steps that will help create an environment where bullying is dramatically reduced and children don’t have to be heroes to make it through the school day. These steps assume that you have carried out an assessment to gauge the extent of bullying and the types of problems that your school may be dealing with.

1. Increase supervision in areas where there is unstructured play and interaction.

Bullying is most likely to happen on the playground, in the lunchroom, in corridors between classes and in bathrooms – all areas where there is little adult supervision. One of the first and most important things you can do to start making a dent in bullying is to increase supervision in those areas.

1. Train ALL adults in the school to recognize and intervene when they see bullying.

Adults set the tone for the school by their reactions and the way that they treat others. It’s important that every adult – from administrators to office workers to teachers to custodians to parent volunteers to the lunch ladies – understand the importance of putting a stop to bullying – and know how to do it without feeding it.

1. Write a code of conduct that includes rules like “There is no name-calling” and “We will not tolerate verbal or physical threats”.

2. Guarantee the anonymity of anyone who reports bullying. An adjunct of that is that you must also guarantee that you WILL take all reports seriously and investigate them.

3. Discuss what you are doing with the students. Make it clear that it is a priority for everyone in the school (or club, or home) to provide a safe environment for EVERYONE in the school.

4. Invite presenters to offer anti-bullying and self-esteem building programs to the group. Programs that focus on positive empowerment can help students get their concerns into the open and get feedback on how to handle situations without either bullying or being bullied.

5. Keep the focus ON. It’s tempting to present a program and think you’ve done your part. It’s important to continue. The key to creating an atmosphere of trust and respect – an atmosphere that discourages bullying – is in consistency.

6. Reward students who show appropriate behavior. And keep in mind that positive attention, praise and approval are among the most potent rewards that you can give. They cost nothing, and can be enjoyed long after they’ve been given out.

7. Intervene to stop bullying IMMEDIATELY when you see it happening. Even if children in the group assure you that no one is getting hurt or being made fun of, remind them that it’s against the rules, and won’t be tolerated.

8. Keep parents informed. The more parents are aware of what you’re trying to accomplish, the more helpful they can be – and you’re far less likely to be greeted with disbelief or open antagonism if you DO have to bring a bullying incident to a parent’s attention.

Training Bystanders

One of the most important ingredients in building an environment where bullying is not tolerated is the bystander. Those who stand by and do nothing – or step in to help – make a powerful difference in the outcomes of bullying. While the responsibility for protecting children from bullies is on the shoulders of adults, one crucial way in which adults stop bullying is by realizing the role that bystanders pay in bullying situations, and teaching them how to turn the tide and protect the victim.

Most bullying situations involve three entities – the bully, the bullied and the bystanders. According to many researchers and experts, it is the bystanders who most often hold the key to putting a stop to the bullying. Studies have shown that half the time, all it takes is ONE negative comment from a bystander to end a bullying incident. Just one comment. Why then don’t more bystanders step in to stop it when they see bullies hurting other children?

1. I don’t tattle on other kids.

2. I don’t want the bully to start picking on me.

3. Everyone else was doing it, so I just kept my mouth shut.

4. I didn’t want to be the only one who said something.

5. The (victim) deserved to get picked on.

6. It was none of my business.

Besides the reasons that children state themselves, there are other motives that are suggested by psychologists and counselors who have studied bullying.

1. Bystanders may say nothing because they want to be friends with the bully.

2. They may say nothing because they agree with the bully’s words.

3. Bystanders may join in or say nothing because they feel more powerful by aligning themselves with the stronger bully.

4. They may be enjoying the bullying vicariously.

5. They may encourage the bullying for entertainment value.

Based on the work of Dan Olweus and others, some researchers have developed a ‘cycle of bullying’ that shows how bystanders align themselves with or against bullies.¹ They claim that bystanders fall into the following categories:

1. Follower who may actively assist the bully by doing the hitting and namecalling

2. Supporter, who takes part in the bullying by cheering the bully on

3. Passive supporter who seems to relish the bullying, but doesn’t take part

4. Uninvolved Onlooker, who may prefer to mind his/her own business

5. Passive defender who doesn’t like the bullying, but doesn’t do anything about it

6. Defender, who actively steps in to stop the bullying

The trick to breaking the cycle of abuse is in moving children from the supporter side of the cycle to the defender side of the cycle. Bystanders can become defenders when:

1. There is a significant amount of approval for those who intervene in bullying.

2. They learn to understand how hurtful bullying truly is.

3. Supporting a bully carries negative consequences.

4. They are encouraged and supported to defend a bullying victim.

5. They are given concrete examples of ways to stand up for victims.