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 In 1978, Dr. David Lewis published The Secret Language of Your Child: How Children Talk Before They Can Speak. To research his topic, he videotaped parents and children interacting, as well as children interacting with other children in playgroups.
In one particularly striking sequence, a two year old child approaches another, smaller child who is playing with a toy he wants. His face is set in a wide grin with teeth showing, and his body posture is aggressive. He reaches out and grasps the toy, and when the girl tries to hold fast, he raises his free hand in a closed fist by about two inches. The girl immediately releases the toy and bursts into tears, running to her mother. The boy sits down and happily plays with his newly acquired toy.
This was only one example of how, by the age of two, the factors that play into bullying behavior are already established. The boy was larger and stronger. He used the threat of physical force – which was completely missed by the adults in the room – to get something that he wanted. Bullying exists as early as pre-school, and continues throughout elementary school. It peaks in middle school, and seems to lessen in high school, though many researchers are beginning to believe that it simply assumes another face.
Is There Really Bullying Before Middle School? Most of the research on bullying has made it clear that bullying starts in elementary school, peaks in middle school and slows in high school, but some researchers have pointed to evidence that some children in pre-school and kindergarten consistently aggressively target other students who are in a less powerful position than they are with both words and actions. According to one U.S. survey, 18% of children in kindergarten are the targets of bullies. The bullying behavior can be physical, verbal or social. According to one of the foremost experts in the field of relational bullying, preschool is when children learn the power of ‘I won’t be your friend anymore’.
The positive side of this is that at such a young age, bullying intervention programs have extremely positive effects in reducing bullying behaviors. Young children have only begun to view their peers as an important part of their social world. A teacher or authority figure is regarded as a much more credible source of information. Children in pre-school through fifth grade are far more invested in the approval of their teachers than they will be by the time they reach middle school. The best time to reach children and teach them appropriate social interactions, then, is before bullying reaches critical mass in middle school.
Bullying Intervention Works With Young Students In an overview of thirteen different intervention programs used with kindergarten and elementary school students, researchers found that the outcomes were generally successful in reducing overall bullying behavior, that programs were more successful with children in kindergarten through third grade, and that programs were more successful in reducing physical bullying than verbal bullying. Some of the reviewed programs resulted in as much as a 50% reduction of bullying behaviors in young children. Even more importantly, in studies that also used a control group that did not have a bullying intervention program, the bullying behaviors increased significantly in the following years. Thus, the researchers concluded, even studies that showed little reduction in bullying behavior were effective in keeping the bullying behavior from increasing.
How Young Children Bully Research shows very little difference between the bullying behaviors of young children and those of their older counterparts. Boys and girls are both equally likely to be bullies, and to be victims. As with older children, boys are more likely to engage in physical bullying and girls in social and relational bullying. The negative effects on children include increased timidity, fear of school, isolation, lowering of self-esteem and higher incidence of aggressive behavior on the part of the child being bullied.
Physical bullying includes hitting, pinching, punching, pushing, stepping on feet, slapping and any other behavior that physically hurts the target Verbal bullying includes taunts, name-calling and threats Relational bullying includes withdrawal of friendship to get a desired effect, or social exclusion of another student
Of the three, younger children are more likely to engage in verbal or physical bullying, but there is also considerable relational bullying.
Characteristics of Young Bullies Larger or stronger or more verbally/socially advanced than peers More likely to resort to physical or verbal violence to get what they want May be from homes where they see bullying Are more likely to be bully-victims – children who are bullied by others and take their aggressions out on smaller children
Characteristics of Young Bully Victims One interesting point of research is that far more children report being the victims of bullies at young ages than those who are older. This is, in part, because bullies ‘shop’ for victims in the early years. A child who reacts to being bullied by crying, giving in to the bully, running away or showing fear is more likely to be targeted again and again by bullies. This sets up a vicious cycle. Children who are targeted by bullies become more fearful and timid, and are more likely to attract bullies.
Targeting Bullying For Extinction The best way to reduce bullying behaviors in young classrooms is through a cooperative effort between schools, parents and communities. An intervention should include:
Acknowledgement that there is a bullying problem A comprehensive plan to address the bullying problem A curriculum that delivers a pro-social message to all students Positive modeling of appropriate social behavior Positive reinforcement of respectful, appropriate behavior Gentle but firm and consistent intervention in bullying incidents Support for children who are bullied
One of the least productive methods of dealing with bullying behaviors is to tell the victim to ‘grow up’, ‘stop being so sensitive’ or ‘just ignore it’. One widely circulated program that purports to stop bullying in the classroom and schoolyard ‘fast’ suggests that the only response a teacher should give when a child complains that he has been called names is ‘Do you believe it?’. When the child says, ‘No.”, the teacher is told, say, “Good. Neither do I.” and walk away. The response to physical bullying, according to this program should be, “Are you hurt?” If the answer is no, again respond ‘Good. I’m glad you weren’t hurt.” And walk away.
This is dangerous on so many levels. While the teacher will see an immediate reduction in reports of bullying behaviors, that reduction is likely to be because the bullied child has learned that it is ineffectual to report the behavior.
If you want to reduce the incidence of bullying and not just the reporting of it, you need to make awareness of and intervention in bullying a priority. Experts recommend the following steps to help prevent and reduce bullying behaviors starting in preschool.
Make clear rules in your classrooms that prohibit bullying. Make sure the rules are specific: We don’t call each other names is a simple, clear rule. Be nice to other people is not. By establishing the rule, you make your expectations clear to the children, and can address the behavior when you see it. Read stories and assign books where bullying is addressed and solutions are found in a positive manner. Take the time to discuss different options for dealing with teasing, name-calling, taunting and hitting. Model appropriate behavior for your students, even when you think they can’t hear or see you. Avoid showing favoritism to any student. Children are very quick to pick up on favored status among their classmates. If you see behavior that looks like bullying, address it immediately by calmly and firmly putting a stop to it. Applaud children who engage in pro-social behaviors like taking turns, befriending others and sharing. Keep your eye on possible bullies as much to catch them behaving appropriately as to stop them from hurting others. Especially in the younger grades, address bullying by offering appropriate social alternatives. If you see a child grab a toy from another, address it immediately and suggest that asking for things or offering an alternative is a better way to get what you want. Make a clear distinction between tattling and reporting. We tattle to get someone in trouble. We report to get someone out of trouble. Stress that teachers and adults can help if they know that someone is being hurt. Increase supervision in areas that are notorious for being bullying havens – on the playground, in the hallways and in the bathrooms. If possible, have an adult watching at ALL times that children are in contact with each other. Explain the difference between choosing friends and excluding others. It can be a difficult concept to grasp for young children. There is a difference between choosing to play with people you like and not allowing others to be part of the group. Frequently reevaluate the bullying situation to make sure that your strategies are working.
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Bully Solutions
