More on How To Tell if Your Child is a Bully

Most people have this mental picture of a bully as a scruffy kid with low self-esteem, not very popular, physically bigger than most other kids and rude. Does the name Scutt Farkus ring a bell?

There are not an insignificant number of bullies who take this shape. A very large number of bullies will be the popular kids, seemingly confident, well liked by their peers, leaders.

By that I mean that others just naturally follow their lead. And they feed on that on some level. When they act out with bully type behavior, their followers fall in line and support their actions.

There are a variety of reasons why kids become bullies. As with most things, there are risk factors related to the likelihood that your child will become a bully.

Although male bullies are usually more aggressive, often times physically bigger than their peers and more popular. There are similar risk factors for male and female bullying. They share generally angry disposition.

They are often aggressive. They do not handle problems or frustration very well. And they often display impulsive behavior. With poor skills for solving problems many kids turn to bullying. Boys will often have difficulty empathizing with other kids and compensate with dominant behavior. 

Even if you see much of this type of behavior in your child, it’s not a guarantee that you have a bully on your hands. They do however indicate an increased likelihood that your child will tend towards bullying given the opportunity.

Teaching children with these traits positive ways to cope with stressful situations is an excellent way to reduce the likelihood that your child will cross the line.

Because girls develop different bullying methodology, they’ll have slightly different risk factors. Rather than being physically dominating as boys usually are, girls are typically take a more psychological approach towards their bullying.

Girls will emotionally abuse their victims with mean comments, accusations, rumors, and name calling. Girls who will exclude another girl from the group in a given situation, who are mean spirited, who tend to gossip quite a bit are at increased risk for becoming a bully.

Being generally aggressive, having an angry disposition, often showing impulsive behavior and difficulty in dealing with frustration and problems are indicators that a girl is on her way to becoming a bully.

Other risk factors shared by both girls and boys are having come from an unstable home environment. Their parents give them little emotional support, attention and supervision are at increased risk for developing into bullies. Parents who use extreme disciplinary measures as well as those parents who are not involved with their kids lives are putting their kids at increased risk of becoming bullies.

If children don’t learn positive ways to solve problems and value the practice ot treating the people around them with respect, they will in all likelihood turn to aggressive bullying type behavior as a basis for dealing with issues in their lives. 

A home life like this can cause children the exhibit attention seeking behavior through bullying to make up for their home life. Without better examples of problem solving in their lives, bullying is a base behavior to which children often turn.

If you recognize some of these risk factors in your child’s life there are lots of things you can do to reduce this risk and teach them positive problem solving skills and help them into a well adjusted healthy life.