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 As part of her research into bullying, Debra Pepler, a Toronto researcher, planted video cameras in schools to record what was happening on playgrounds – the site of a great deal of bullying. In 52 hours of taping, Pepler’s camera recorded over 400 incidents of bullying, including one incident that continued for 37 minutes. Teachers noticed and intervened in 8 of the incidents – 1 out of every 25. Is it any wonder that children in school believe that teachers don’t care about them being bullied?
The first step toward dealing with bullying is learning how to recognize that it is happening. The second is admitting that there is a problem, and the third is assessing the extent of the problem. This holds true whether we’re talking about bullying in your school, recognizing that your child is a bully, or that your child is being bullied.
The statistics all favor the odds that there IS bullying in your school. According to various studies and reports:
1 child in every 3 in grades 6 through 10 in the United States is affected by bullying 1/3 of high school students surveyed said their schools had serious problems with bullies 36% of students in a national survey reported seeing hate-related graffiti at school A survey by the Center for Disease Control found that 6% of students who responded had missed at least one day of school in the preceding month because of fears for their safety at school or on the way to or from school According to the National Association of School Psychologists, 15% to 30% of all students are bullies or victims – or both. 3.7 million youths engage in moderate or severe bullying each year 3.2 million youths are victims of moderate or severe bullying each year
In addition, a large number of students report that bullying, verbal and otherwise, often happens in front of teachers and other authority figures, who either ignore the behavior or don’t recognize what is happening. Faced with this, many students simply believe that the adults who should be protecting them don’t care.
As if to bear this out, in Pepler’s research video cited above, teachers approached the victim of the 37 minute incident recorded on camera no less than three times. Each time, the students – including the victim – insisted that it was all a game and the teachers moved off without stopping the behavior.
When the students themselves insist to teachers that there is not a problem – while telling researchers that there most definitely is – to assume that there is no bullying problem in a particular school is to create an atmosphere where the bullies rule the school, and the rest of the students and staff are at their mercy.
Assessing the Situation In order to determine the extent of bullying in a school, it’s important to do a full assessment of the situation. The purposes of an assessment are:
Identification to help find and label the problem or situation Selection of which situations must be addressed Planning for the changes that need to take place Evaluating whether the interventions were effective
An assessment should focus not only on the behaviors that need changing, but on the reasons behind the behaviors. If the reasons are not addressed, then the behaviors are likely to continue.
There are several ways to assess the bullying situation in your school. The approach that works best is to use a combination of the methods. The three most commonly used are:
Ask parents to report to the school any incidents when they believe their child was abused, as well as gather information on children’s behavior in the home and in the community A questionnaire that lists specific behaviors that are recognized as being harmful to other students. This will help focus the intervention on reducing the behaviors that are a problem in your school. A structured questionnaire to help pinpoint teacher attitudes and beliefs about bullying. Like the inventory of behavior, this will help pinpoint attitudes and behaviors that need to be addressed.
If a child tells you they are being bullied – LISTEN. If you believe your child is being bullied – ASK. But don’t expect to be told – and here’s a real eye-opener: children who are bullied frequently say that ‘it happens right in front of the teachers and they don’t even care’. It may well be that some teachers don’t care, and certainly there are some teachers that are bullies themselves – but the overwhelming majority either are missing the signs entirely – or don’t understand how severe the problem is.
Among the reasons that children don’t report bullying: They’re afraid of retaliation They’re afraid that the bullying will get worse (if they are the victims) They’re afraid that they’ll become a victim (if they’re bystanders) They’re embarrassed to admit that they did nothing to stop the bullying They’re ashamed to admit that they participated in the bullying They believe that no one will help They follow the Playground Code and are afraid of being seen as a snitch. They don’t know who to tell. They believe that adults don’t care They’re embarrassed or ashamed to tell parents that they are unpopular
With all those reasons keeping children and teens from reporting bullying when it happens, it is vital that parents, teachers and school administrators learn to recognize the signs that there is a bullying problem with their child or in their school. The checklists of signs below have been compiled from various sources. The more signs you see, the more likely it is that there is bullying going on.
Spotting Signs of Bullying (for Parents) Your child may be being bullied if: He or she frequently comes home with unexplained injuries He or she frequently comes home with clothing or possessions damaged He or she “loses” possessions frequently but can’t explain how He or she is fearful or resistant about going to school He or she tries to take a weapon to school You notice behavioral changes. Marks for schoolwork start dropping You notice that he or she is ‘taking the long way’ home from school for no real reason Your child seems depressed or unhappy for no apparent reason You notice a change in social activity, particularly a child who has always had friends suddenly seems to have none. Your child avoids formerly enjoyable activities. Your child avoids the computer or answering the telephone. Your child is uncharacteristically aggressive with siblings or pets. Your child has frequent nightmares or sleep disturbances. Your child has frequent unexplained illnesses. Your child shows signs of anxiety.
Your child may be a bully if: They are unusually ‘reactive’ in non-hostile situations. They frequently attribute hostile motives to others (i.e. insisting that someone tripped them on purpose when it was clearly an accident) AND react aggressively to non-hostile actions. They frequently come home from school with possessions or money and claim that someone ‘gave’ it to them. Other children seem afraid of them. They behave in a retaliatory manner. Other parents and/or teachers report that your child is bullying others.
Spotting Signs of Bullying (for Teachers) For teachers the challenge is in both recognizing individual victims and bullies, and noting patterns of behavior in their classrooms, the hallways and the playground. Many of the same physical signs that parents may notice are also visible to teachers. Others will be more noticeable in school than at home. One child is consistently picked on by others. One child has frequent physical injuries, bruises, black eyes and scrapes The child behaves in an unusually submissive manner – giving away belongings, for example. Changes in behavior Avoiding certain areas of the school Sticking close to teachers on the playground One child seems to be ostracized or isolated from the rest of the class Listen for name-calling and threats. Keep your ears OPEN to what you’re hearing. Most children report that bullying and taunting takes place in front of teachers and goes unnoticed. Watch for subtle signs of bullying that are common to girls such as eye rolling, snickering when one student answers and deliberate exclusion of one child from lunch tables and other social activities. Frequent absences and unusual tardiness may indicate a child avoiding a bully. Watch for ‘pack’ behavior – students taking their cues on how to behave from one student or one group of students
Spotting Signs of Bullying (for administrators) A school with a bullying problem is a sick school. Research indicates the following problems in schools with high rates of bullying: High absentee rates among children High stress levels for both teachers and children Frequent incidents of violence and/or aggression A sharp demarcation between groups of students, especially between ‘popular’ and ‘unpopular’ students Frequent incidents where the same child is the victim OR the perpetrator Vandalism and graffiti, including ‘hate’ graffiti
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Bully Solutions
