Why Bullies Bully

There are an enormous number of reasons that a bully victimizes people. Sometimes, the bully honestly doesn’t know any better. Does this make the behavior appropriate and acceptable? No. Bullying is hurtful and degrading on many levels.

Bullying is abuse! Only with proper intervention can a bully’s unacceptable behavior be corrected. These are a few reasons bullies gave to why they bullied other people.

• Because I see others doing it

• Because it's what you do if you want to hang out with the right crowd

• Because it makes me feel, stronger, smarter, or better than the person I'm bullying

• Because it's one of the best ways to keep others from bullying me

Whatever the reasoning, bullying should never be tolerated in the home, at work, at school, or while simply performing everyday activities. Bullies may know what they are doing is wrong, but they choose to continue the unacceptable behavior.

Many bullies sincerely don’t know any different. They don’t see the effects that the bullying has on the victims. The bully never suffered or witnessed the ramifications caused by their behavior.

Bullies have long been thought of as individuals with low self-worth and self-loathing characteristics. These bullies victimize others because they have a deep-seated desire to be accepted by their peers. While this may be true in some rare cases, the truth behind why a bully victimizes others is not so pleasantly wrapped in such an easy to understand package. ¹

The truth is that most bullies have extremely high self-esteem and are very self-confident. Most bullies are hot-tempered, physically aggressive, easily angered, impulsive, and have a low tolerance for frustration. They have a strong need to dominate any situation and show no signs of empathy for their victims.

Just as their victims, bullies come in all shapes and sizes regardless of ethnical background, sexual preference, social status, religious belief, and level of education. Bullying behavior often starts in the formative school-aged years.

The behavior goes unchecked, so the bully learns that this behavior does not have ramifications. The bully feels powerful and strong when he/she is victimizing others. Generally, the bully gets a perverse satisfaction from assaulting the victim.

Once the bully has successfully assaulted the victim with no ramifications, the bully will either return to repeat the action on the same victim or find a new victim to achieve this perverse satisfaction.

The individual that exhibits the bullying behavior usually has little trouble making friends. Usually, a bully would be considered quite popular by their peers. A real people person. Individuals initiate a friendship with a bully for numerous reasons, usually forming a clique with the bully as the leader. Rather than being subject to a bully’s victimization, people may choose to endear themselves to a bully to insure that the behavior does not happen to them.

The “friends” often become willing participants in bullying others. Another reason a bully makes friends is to be around other like-minded individuals that share the same perverse pleasure, goals, and activities as the bully. Usually, in this type of friendship, all the individuals in the clique are bullies.